As we approach All Hallows’ Eve, our team at echogravity loves to talk about things we find scary in this great business of marketing. In the grand scheme of things, marketing is a tough job with tons of moving parts. Effectively implementing a sound strategy supported by an effective ground game requires skill with a keen eye on detail.
Our topic for Halloween 2012 is the “BLOG” (not to be confused with the “BLOB”). If you have a blog on your company web site, you created this monster for the sake of giving your visitors a reason to return, to understand your points of view, and to showcase the load of highly intelligent people sitting around your office. But you have to ask yourself a simple question: Is my Blog intended for the brain power of Abby Normal or some other form of higher intelligence?
Being the detail freaks we are, the bloodcurdling blogs we see on many web sites stick out to us like a knife in the eye. So, in order to make it through one more scary Halloween, we decided to identify the most popular ways that blogs are being murdered. Are any of these skeletons in your closet?
1. A Ghost is Lingering About your Authors. Identifying the Author with the stories you write is a great way to give credibility to your organization. However, we’re guessing that spirits or other creatures have taken over your blog writing because the most popular is named “ADMIN”. WHO IS THIS UNKNOWN CREATURE???
2. Publish Articles that Only Dead People Care About. Maybe Frankenstein is reading your blog? He and his bride are always looking for good brain material, like “How not to Freeze things”. Is your blog talking to your target audience or to a bunch of zombies?
3. Even Dracula Doesn’t want to Convert You. Your blog is meant to be read and shared, but it’s being socialized at a chilling rate of 0%. Why is it that nobody, even the undead, wants to pass along your blood?
4. Your Graveyard is well kept. As a crypt keeper, you are doing a fantastic job of keeping your blog looking like a graveyard. Continue to let the cobwebs accumulate, the crickets chirp, and tumbleweeds take over by making sure you don’t update it but once/year.
5. Once they enter, don’t let them leave. What better way to capture your prey than to give them a dead end, with no outs. On Halloween, we love to eat what we kill, so make sure that you ignore your sidebars and don’t add any calls to action. We surely don’t want our visitors escaping.
6. Do NOT leave evidence at the scene of the crime. Make sure that you clean up the mess so that the Google Police can’t find you. Footprints found might be trouble, so be sure not to add keywords or links. Eliminating SEO opportunities is a great way to keep your stories from the public. In fact, you might want to trick them by redirecting the cops by using other keyword links like “contact us” or “click here” so that you blend in with the rest of the living population.
7. It’s apparent that you have a queasy stomach, because you regurgitated every word of all of your stories on to the main blog page. The intelligence level of your ghastly blog readers needs to be accommodated so that they don’t need to click on the “read more” link. In fact, a lot of these ghouls and monsters have issues navigating a web site, so make it easy for them to scroll the mouse wheel instead of giving them an opportunity to read excerpts of many stories at one time.
8. Make Certain that your creepy stories have the opportunity to mutate. When full moons rise, the beasts and lycanthropes will populate the lands. Maintaining your articles as “uncategorized” gives them similar mutation and transformation capabilities similar to that of humans to werewolves and werepanthers. Remain flexible and cloaked.
If you are guilty of murdering your blog during this Halloween season, make sure to trick or treat by the house of echogravity. Ring our bell and ask us to provide a trick or two. It’s a free marketing assessment we are providing until Sandy Claws shows up! Don’t delay.
Image courtesy of [luigi diamanti] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net